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When it's time to say goodbye

Sadness.

Remembering those days.

How time flies.

Everything is now in a state of confusion.

What am I doing? What should I be doing?

Started running. Running fast from the reality.

But the longing for the past came closer and closer.

Suddenly, I am a by-stander.

Emotionless.

Just need to understand. Just need to accept.

Just need to hold on to all my emotions, because I need to appear strong.

Suppressed.

Till the late night.

Thought I could see dawn the moment I open my eyes.

But it's only 3:30 am.

Suppression is an act of weakness.

The strongest self is in fact the weakest,

seeking comfort in darkness,

and when no one sees.

Life's as usual. Everything is unchanged.

But nothing is like yesterday.

A lone foreigner in my own world.

Still do not know what I am doing; what I should be doing.

Memories appear.

Sorrow came. Feel so much like hugging someone and crying out loud.

But I didn't.

Teardrops, tapping the wound,

and it just feels worse.

Counting down to the day.

Preparation is a myth.

Only when the day come,

shall we know if we are really prepared.

Perhaps that is no longer important.

Hopefully, when it is time to say goodbye,

we will finally have the courage to face our true emotions.

Sadness. Really.

When things are blown over, would we still remember this moment,                                                       why we can't bear to say goodbye; to whom, we can't bear to say goodbye.

YIN. 11 February 2006.     

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